WHY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN A WHILE!
|My husband as "The Bird Dude"|
before we were an item!
I remember moving into my first apartment. It was definitely where God wanted me to be. I moved in with a bed, a dresser, a drafting table, and a TV. God provided the rest. I lived in that little “Melrose Place” type complex for over 11 years. During those years, I learned and grew so much. I also remember meeting the goofy “old man” who lived next door to me. I remember how he used to bring me gifts from his vacations, and he used to tap on my window to say “hi” to my cat when he passed by. I remember he was the BBQ master at our complex’s epic 4th of July celebrations. He was the guy with birds on his shoulders who would sit outside his upstairs apartment to watch the breeze move through the weeping willow. He was a friendly, kind, laid-back DUDE. Never, in my wildest dreams, would I have believed that that goofy guy, that sweet man, that guy’s guy, that dude would become the love of my life, my husband, the father of my child, my partner, and my friend, but he did!
|One of my favorite pictures of my husband|
from our wedding day.
This is just before the ceremony!
My two guys meet!Husband at the birth of our son, holding him for the first time!
One night, while watching a movie, I felt like he wanted to “make a move on me,” and I remember excusing myself with, “Well, I’m really tired. I’ve gotta go,” and scurrying as fast as I could back to the safety of my own apartment. I also remember thinking about him that night and realizing how fantastic he was. “WAIT!” I said to myself! “He’s friendly, kind, single, straight, cute, and he has really liked me for a long time!” So, after 10 years, we were an “item.” Within three months, we were engaged. And the next year we were married.
After marriage, I not only drew closer to my husband but I also drew closer to my first love … God. I have known God since I was born, and had accepted Jesus very early on, but had been walking in the flesh for a while. Now that I was married, I felt that that one-continuing-sin wasn’t keeping me from God anymore (if you know what I mean!?!). I reached out for His hand and knew He had never left my side. That’s one of His beauties! He sees us in the midst of our sin and still loves us! My husband had his own ideas about God, good works, and salvation. I was steadfast in my prayers for him and I tried to be the wife God called me to be.
|With our son, playing! A hands-on-dad,|
full of love and very involved.
I, for a variety of theological reasons, left the church I had been a member of for the past 10 years. Then, I happened to be discussing something totally non-consequential with a mama from my son’s school. She casually mentioned her pastor (because he lives across the street from her, has five kids, and those kids playing with her kids had something to do with what we were discussing). I latched on to the “my pastor” comment! I had been looking for a new church that was “just right” for me! I had been a dissatisfied Goldilocks with many churches and was looking, no, I was yearning for a new home. She told me all about her church. I went the next Sunday! I knew right away that this church was my new home! I attended for a few weeks, with my son, and then my husband came with us. He liked it! YES! He kept coming back! YES!
Over the course of the next year, I could see how seriously God was wooing my husband. I pointed out God’s presence and work in his life when I saw it, prayed for him, continued to strive to be a godly wife, spoke praises and prayer requests about him to my small group, and prayed, prayed, prayed! He was clearly getting SO close to accepting Jesus as his personal savior; then the news came! On January 19th, my darling husband was diagnosed with metastasized kidney cancer … out of the blue! He had no symptoms at all! I had taken him to the ER on the 16th for a blood clot in his leg; they had put him on blood thinners. I took him to the ER on the morning of the 19th because he was bleeding from the blood thinner … we thought. We had no idea that a 13 cm kidney tumor was causing the bleeding.
Our God is SO awesome! He immediately snatched us up into His loving arms and carried us! He was our strength. Know that I am an overly-emotional, hypersensitive person and am over blessed with empathy and strong “emotions”! I should have been a blithering pile, but I was standing! It was God! My husband tends toward depression and withdrawal, but he was standing! It was God! His strength held us up!
God not only used this diagnosis for His glory, but my husband accepted Jesus. And when we look at our lives, it’s clear that God was preparing us for this. He placed me in a church that my husband felt comfortable with. He gave us a pastor who is accessible and down to earth, one that my husband can relate to. He allowed my husband to be laid off from his job so that he could get another that provides insurance. He gave my pastor’s wife and I too much in common so that she could be an encouragement to me. He had our son come to me, out of the blue, about a month before the diagnosis and ask me to explain cancer to him. He also put me in a beautifully supportive women’s group where we did a study on blessings. Our final lesson for the blessings study was to write a blessing, share it with the group, and then share it with our loved one. All of the other gals, wrote a blessing for their child; I wrote one for my husband. What a gift that was, not only for him, but for me as well! The next morning we were given the news! And without the blood clot, we would have never found the tumor. There is SO much more! This is just the tip of it all! Our God is awesome! He knew this was coming! He is faithful! He prepared us!
We were overwhelmed by the news and then we were overwhelmed by the beauty of our God and the friends, family, and strangers He put into our lives! The outpouring of offers has been amazing! Not only have people loved on us, but they have offered powerful prayers, food, time, money, advice, to pay for some treatments, and one beautiful sister even offered us a kidney!
This is just a part of the journey I have traveled, and will continue to travel, with my God and my husband! Although kidney cancer is not medically curable, I know that if it is His will, God can heal my husband. I also know that His will is perfect and good … I have no fear! My husband is not afraid either! The doctors have given my husband a year or two, but only God knows the number of his days; so, we will leave it to God and thank Him for every day and every moment, and know that whatever may come He will carry us through it!
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Love the ones you love well!